Well, it's been a long time since I blogged! Today I feel "bloggy".

About 6 weeks ago I deactivated my facebook account. It has been a good 6 weeks. My motivation? Well, I was (this is a little embarrassing to admit) ADDICTED! I was OBSESSED with checking - well obsessed with a craving for connection really. It got so bad I just couldn't control it. So I just deactivated. It was sort of a sudden decision - ya know like "do it quick before you lose your courage". My first day was HARD! It had become such a habit to just pop - in for a minute and check on things. I had to learn knew habits and I had to feel those feelings of loneliness that I didn't want to feel. But then in a few days I began to experience things that I liked - and still like!

1. I began to long for connection with my neighbors, my girlfriends, my church family etc. Like I just wanted to call people up and chat. It was good. I began to feel more connected and more like I did "need" these people that I bump into on a regular basis. Instead of the feeling of "oh, I'd rather just stay at home". And instead of "I'm so busy" I realized I had more time and more desire to do things, go places etc.

2. I also found freedom from that AWFUL, AWFUL feeling of "I got nothing done today". Not the normal "I got nothing done today" feeling that comes when you have a sick baby and a naughty 2 year old. Cause even when you have those days you know that you did all that you could for what was given you for that day. But when I have wasted my day focused on facebook and other computer sites I just had this "wasted day" feeling that was SO un-fulfilling.

3. Let me just say I am not against facebook. I am only admitting my weakness to control it. I think facebook has many good aspects. Which leads me to #4

4. I miss facebook in some ways because I miss seeing pictures family and friends. I miss hearing what is going on in people lives - hmmm - does that mean I miss gossip.  

In other news:

Spring has come so early this year! The crocuses pushed through by Jessenia's birthday the 8th!

I love spring! I am in love with God's creation! There is just NOTHING like the stunning beauty of our forsythia bush in our front yard! They just shout cheer!

And my hyacinths! Oh my hyacinths! If only they could bloom and share their sweet, sweet angelic fragrance all year long! But since they don't I knelt on my sidewalk and drank deeply many days of their delicious fragrance! 

And our daffodils finally bloomed bountifully this year! Another burst of yellow cheer!

And then our weeping cherry tree bloomed! Ah! BEAUTY! I can't get done drinking in it's soft delicate petals and soft pink hue!

And now the blue bells are in their prime! I'm telling you our soil must be just right for them! They grow like weeds and I can NOT kill them! But that's ok - they are so pretty!

I love flowers! I love spring!I hope I have lots of flowers in my corner of heaven! Honest I do! And I hope they all smell divine!

Ravi - our baby is now 6! That looked a long way off, but here we are! I like this stage of life though!

I turned the aged number of 35 in February. I was sick that day. But my sweet husband treated me like royalty. I love my husband and my family! Jessenia made a cake and decorated it for me this year.

Jessenia turned 10 in March! So now we have a second child with a double digit number. My how time flies! She wanted a horse cake really bad. I was scared to try it. I was kinda hoping that if we gave it some time she would change her mind or forget about it. But as the birthday neared she kept saying that she wanted a horse cake. So I finally caved and decided to do some research. I found lots of different cakes - more than I thought I would. The ones I found ranged from really pathetic to masterpieces. I was afraid I would fall in the really pathetic range. I am NOT artistic! I can't draw more than stick figures! Honest! When I would try to draw in church for my kids they would always say, "what is it mom?" Anyway, I gave it a shot and with lots of help of the masterpiece horse cakes and lots of fear. Here is what came forth:

It's March. March 13th 2011 was our last Sunday at Millmont (the church I have been a part of since I was 1 year old). So we've been doing a lot of reminiscing. Some more grieving and crying. To leave a church that has been there my whole life along with good friends was not easy. There are a lot of shattered dreams. It's so hard to leave behind those dreams and our friends.

But it's a mixed bag of emotions. I want to say that God has been so good! We love our new little church - Valley Chapel. God has answered our prayers in finding a church where we feel at home. People there have been so ok with our tears, and with us. They have been so friendly and accepting (not saying that people at Millmont weren't - We still love the people there!). God has done a lot of work in our hearts. It has been such a blessing to be there. Here is an excerpt from my devotional that has really meant a LOT to me:

"The hardest ingredient in suffering it TIME. A short, sharp pang is easily borne, but when sorrow drags it's way through long, monotonous years, and day after day returns with  the same dull routine of hopeless agony, the heart loses it's strength, and without the grace of God, is sure to sink into the very sullenness of despair." 

Isn't that so true. When dreams are shattered I sorta try to figure things out. Ya know how long till there is relief? How long till there is hope that things will work out? But that is not what God desires from us.

"Like Joseph, let us be more careful to learn ALL the lessons in the school of sorrow than we are anxious for the hour of deliverance!"

I have learned a lot in the last 2 years. And it has been good. I used to think that anything could be figured out. I was very analytical. But I have realized that we can't make sense of everything. No matter how hard we work to try to make things work out in life - we can't always make things work. This has been good for me. I have never been at the end of myself to this extent before. I have learned that relying on God is far better. I have found His comfort to be the most divine place to be. This restores Joy! His comfort restores Hope! Our hope is found only in a real living relationship with Jesus! How can I explain that? I don't know how to. It's something I had to experience. I don't usually find that place of comfort any other time than when I am at the end of my selfishness and my power. I am grateful that God in all his divine-ness is willing to come down and comfort us and walk with us.

I know it sounds so "cliche" but I have found it to be true "shattered dreams and our security being stripped from us is a place where God meets us".

March can be a blah month at school. So there was lots of dress up parties this year. Here is Jace on Clown day! Thanks to my dear friend Charity he was all decked out.

And dress like your parents day:

He's so handsome no matter what!

And we have another litter of puppies. Today they are 8 weeks old and ready to go to their new homes. Only 3 of the 7 are spoken for. Here are a few of them:

I love food that not only tastes good but also looks pretty. Growing up our friends from China taught us that there food has to look pretty. That has stuck with me. So sometimes I accomplish that.

Valentines supper dessert - Chocolate Fondue              ^^ Sunday lunch

Random thoughts:

*  It really is so much easier to keep my house clean since we cracked down on the rule "no shoes in the house"! Instead of needing to sweep every day (and sometimes 3x a day) it's down to like 2 times a

     week!

*  Carpets that are freshly shampooed and smell good do really make me feel better!

*   It's so nice to have my sweeper fixed! Thanks hon!

*   Cody's birthday is coming up and he's saying, "Yeah Mom, only 4 more years till I can drive!"

*   Jason got bifocals this month. They are hard adjust to! Not sure if they are the correct prescription. But really - we can't be THAT old!

*   The dog chewed up Jace's glasses!

*   When everyone helps it's amazing how quickly we can clean this whole house up!

*   Jason's brother Ethan came up for last weekend. I am amazed how much those 2 are alike! They have the same sense of humor! We laughed at them crackin' each other up till they both had tears running 

      down their cheeks! I think they both needed the de-stresser!

*  I am started on some nutrition supplements for depression - I am beginning to feel better! Thank you Jesus!

*  Our spring has come a month early! Is March to early to plant garden when we aren't supposed to be frost free till May 20th?

*  How can I teach my children to get in the van from the off the bus without having to fight every single day? I get so weary of trying to teach them to love. Sometimes it feels hopeless.

Anyway, I need to move along . . . Hope you enjoyed hearing from our little corner of the world!

I am no longer able to upload pics to my xanga. Is everyone having this trouble? If so i may as well close my account. any advice?